Love Me, Hate Me, Love Me
by Shizume Rikka
Summary: It's been the same routine everyday. Shizuo being late, Izaya annoys him and later on they try to kill each other. Shizuo notices that Izaya doesn't bother him anymore. "Why?" When Shizuo sees something he shouldn't have in the nurse's room he gets dragged into this mess. Shizuo asks Izaya a question that he soon regretted afterwards. "Yup, Dota-chin and I are dating actually."
1. Relationship

I'm slowly making my way to school, but I'm already 30 minutes late so why bother? I get to the gate and try to open it. It was locked, of course it was. Looks like I have to climb over it. I try to refrain myself from doing unnecessary things but from what I can tell, I'm not doing a very good job.

I take a few steps back so I can get a head start on running. I gain speed each step and once I was close enough to the gate I leap over it. I safely land on the grass and patted the dirt off my pants. It's annoying doing this every single time.

I then hear clapping from behind me. I spin 90 degrees. Speaking of annoying, it was the damn flea. Orihara Izaya, the first day we met we tried to kill each other. It's been a week of our second year in high school and we're still nowhere near killing each other. To think, we've spent more than a year with each other, but there's nothing but hate in our relationship.

If it weren't for this stupid gate separating us, I would've wrapped my arms around his throat already. Maybe it would've ended this all.

"Nice jump! But you forgot one thing!" Izaya puts his hand over his mouth and pretends to giggle, he points beside him and says, "You're bag is still here."

I click my tongue.

"Want me to give it to you? You'll only need a small price to pay!" He picks my bag up.

"Don't touch my things with your dirty hands!" I barked.

"C'mon, it's only a small price!" He sways my bag around, completely ignoring my demands.

"What price?" I crossed my arms and go along with his act.

The flea shrugs, "You're life of course."

"Stop fucking around!" I placed my hands on the bars and shake the gate.

Once I see Izaya look at me with a satisfied face, he tosses my bag over and I catch it. _Shit! I was played by him all along._ "Tch, this is waste!" I start heading inside the school.

"Wait for me!" Izaya hollers.

I turn around and to my surprise, the louse had passed the now unlocked gate. He closes the gate with his foot and hurries to lock it with a suspicious key. I realize that I'm actually waiting for him and start to walk away.

 _Fuck! I was almost lead by him again!_ By now, this flea was walking beside me, whistling as we went in the building. _This sneaky little bastard! Why can't I feel his presence?! Oh wait! I should kill him right now..._ But fighting on school grounds is prohibited, someone caught in the act can get suspended or expelled. And knowing Izaya, he'll probably find a way to film a fight and get me expelled. But I need to work and support my brother! There's no way I can risk that.

"Anyways... why the fuck are you following me?" I create some distance away from the louse.

"Hm? We're in the same class, are you that big of an idiot?" Izaya sticks his tongue out.

"One day... I'm going to wipe you off of this planet forever!" I mumbled.

"Oh joy! Can't wait!" He jumps around.

Since we can't fight on school grounds, Izaya uses this to his advantage to provoke me every now and then.

Aside from Izaya who only hangs around me purely for his own amusement, there are 2 other people that I've acquainted with. One is Shinra, who sees me more like a test subject than an actual person. And the other is Kadota, we acknowledge each other, but that's basically it. It seems that Izaya knows those two quite well. Not that I care.

 **A MONTH LATER:**

 _Tch! Why am I so frustrated?!_ Izaya isn't even in class. I forcefully kick my desk while the teacher is teaching and everyone around me turns my way with a startled face.

"H-Heiwajima-san i-is everything alright?" The teacher tries to hide his face with a book.

"I'm not feeling well, I'm going to the nurse's office," I stand up and my classmates flinch.

I sigh with annoyance. It's always the same reaction with them. I walk out the class and slam the door to express my madness. Now that I think about it, the flea never flinches even if I threaten his existence.

 _Hmm, Izaya huh?_ He doesn't bother me that much like before. When was the last time he bugged me? I crack my knuckles. _Did he find a new toy to play with?!_ I realized what I was doing. _Fuck! Fuuuck! I sound like I've been replaced, a-and I'm not even close to Izaya!_

I imagine the louse smiling and I quickly punch myself. _No way in hell would that happen!_

I open the door to the nurse's room. This room is rarely attended so it's perfect for skipping class. I see Izaya near the window, it looks like he's leaning out the window.

I should push him outside... Although we're on the first floor it's still okay. Seeing the flea get surprised and injured makes me grin maliciously. I sneak behind him only to see that he was getting squeezed by Kadota from outside of the window. _What the hell! Does Kadota hate the flea too?!_ I get a more clearer look at it and it seems more like a hug. _Hug? Why?_ Kadota lets go and says something I can't hear, he then starts to walk away.

"Oi flea!" I said in a sharp tone.

Izaya turns around and looks at me like he's been caught red-handed.

"Wh-W-Why was Kadota hug-hugging you? Dammit!" It was embarrassing to say such words.

His cheeks turn light red and scratches his chin. _Why the fuck is he making such a cute expression-! No! No, no, no! Did I just say cute?_ Ugh I'll let it go today since I want answers from this flea.

"Actually," Izaya avoids eye contact, "Dota-chin confessed to me two weeks ago-"

"S-So are you..."

"Yup," He smiles with an actual _real_ smile, "Dota-chin and I are dating actually."


	2. Courtyard

**_(Shizuo's POV)_**

 _So K-Kadota and this damn flea are dating? ...And here I thought that I was the only one who had a special 'relationship' with Izaya. But Kadota... a guy. W-Wait! So if this louse is interested in guys then I would also have a chance-! What kind of crap am I spouting?!_

"Just making sure but you're not plotting anything behind this right?" I ask with suspicion.

"Of course not!" Izaya shook off that idea, "I too can experience this type of emotion more or less... Although sociopaths lack emotions, we can _act_ and _pretend_ like a functioning human being. Girl or boy, it doesn't matter. So maybe I'm kind of relieved that I can get some knowledge about this word _love_ by Dota-chin." He shrugs.

"I-Izaya..." I was hesitating if I should put my hand on his shoulder.

"W-Wait! What am I saying!?" The flea shakes his head, "I'm just giving you a notice that I have no intention of killing you for now." Izaya starts to climb out of the window.

I grab his arm by instinct, he looks at me confusingly. I start to make up an excuse.

"Uh- um... S-So can we be f-friends?" I stutter, trying not to look at his gaze. _What the hell am I saying?!_

Izaya bursts out laughing, "Y-You're kidding me right?! No matter what the situation may be there's no way that could happen. Why? Because I hate you the most." He sticks out his tongue.

The louse slips away before I could beat him up. _He made me look like a fool! Why am I getting ahead of myself?_

Shinra enters my classroom and walks up to me, "What's wrong? You look like you just died."

"It's that damn flea..." I growled.

"Oh! Did he finally break the news?" Shinra guesses.

"Wait, you knew that they were dating?" I stood up.

Shinra puts his hands up in defense, "Woah, woah. Why are you getting so worked up about Izaya's relationships?"

I scratch my head and sigh, "I don't know, I've been on the edge right after I heard about it. Maybe it's like someone just stole Izaya away from me..."

He rapidly covers his mouth, trying not to laugh. I was unaware of what I said but soon realized my mistake.

Shinra starts talking. "You're jealous aren't you? Do you like Iza-"

I grabbed Shinra's shirt before he could finish his sentence.

"I-I-It was just a joke!" Shinra tries to wiggle out.

We had to swim for P.E. and surprisingly enough Izaya attended class. I quickly changed into my trunks and was the first to go outside. I was staring down at the water, but suddenly, the flea _'accidentally'_ shoves me in.

"You louse!" I managed to grab Izaya's ankle before I fell in.

We were splashing around, trying to drown one another. And Izaya, being the annoying shit he was, kept a smug face on for the whole time. I was this close into forcing Izaya's head onto the side of the pool, but unfortunately, the teacher called us out.

Our punishment was to clean the courtyard for this period and miss the whole swimming lesson. It wasn't even a full 2 minutes until both of us got in trouble.

We got out of the pool and started making our way to the shower room. The shower room was quickly cleared out once we made an appearance. All the guys ran to the exit. Izaya was walking behind me, a couple of meters at the back, watching my every move.

I finish showering and started putting on my uniform. I was buttoning up my shirt until Izaya came out of the shower dripping wet.

"Dry yourself before coming out of the shower, you louse!" I ordered.

Izaya grins, "Gladly!" He runs up to me and puts his arms around my chest.

"You fucker!" I shouted.

My shirt was starting to get wet so I pushed him away. As he backed off, the scent of his shampoo was wavering in the air. For some unknown reason, I like that smell.

"Izaya," I stepped forward.

"What?" Izaya was putting on his boxers, facing away from me.

I grabbed him from behind and sat on the bench as fast as I could.

"What the fuck?" The flea tried to squirm away.

"Stay like this for a while," I squeezed onto him tighter.

"Why the hell should I?" He gritted through his teeth.

"Because... I like this scent," I nuzzled my face onto his hair and inhaled.

Izaya was quiet for a while, his body temperature was getting warmer and warmer.

"Izaya are you sick? You should probably see the nurse, although, I prefer you not to." I tell him.

"Just go away!" The louse shook his head.

I sigh in defeat, "Fine." I stood up and went to the exit and I realized that the tip of the flea's ears were red. _See, that's what you get when you go and hook up with Kadota._ I decided to play a little prank. I went up and whispered in his ear, "That was to compensate for my wet uniform."

He bangs onto the lockers and with an agitated voice, he says, "Ugh! Idiot! Shizu-chan you're the worst! I hate you! You're lucky we can't kill each other on school grounds!"

I exited the changing room before Izaya's insults could get any worse.

 ** _(Izaya's POV)_**

Once Shizu-chan went out the door I stopped shouting and sat down. I felt my face, it was warm. _That was just a prank!_ I tell myself.

"I like Dota-chin," I mumbled.

There was no response. The only sound I could hear were the leaky taps in the showers.

"I like Dota-chin!" I said louder, trying to convince myself.

Still no response. _Who was I trying to persuade?_

 ** _(Shizuo's POV)_**

We were cleaning the courtyard in silence so I thought about making small talk with Izaya.

"So," I say and Izaya looks at me, "What kind of shampoo do you use?"

"Can you stop with that topic!" Izaya snarls, "And it's the one from the convenience store 3 miles down from the station."

"Wait that's near my apartment, do you possibly live near that area?" I ask him.

"Hell no." Izaya deadpanned, "It's only because whenever I sleepover at Dota-chin's place, he won't let me use his shampoo so I have to buy my own." He chuckles as if he just remembered something funny.

The flea saying Kadota's name out loud makes me angry for some reason. I didn't want him talking more about Kadota so I dropped my broom and started to walk away.

"Shizu-chan! What are you doing?" Izaya calls out.

I put my hands in my pocket and turn my head to him, "I'm just tired of this conversation."

"H-Hey! Wait up!" Izaya runs up to me.

 ** _(Kadota's POV)_**

This class was so boring. Shinra was up at the board writing the equation to a math problem. I was ready to powernap. I look out my window one last time and I felt as if sleep was the least important thing right now. I'm on the second floor and my seat is beside the window. I had a clear view of the courtyard.

 _Was that Izaya... and Shizuo?_

Izaya was running up to him. _Why? Didn't he despise Shizuo?_

 _Izaya what are you..._ I felt like hunting someone down. They were talking. Izaya looked displeased as he talked to Shizuo but at the same time he looks like he's enjoying it.

If they don't part away soon then I might as well hunt someone down for _real_.


	3. Like

**_(Kadota's POV)_**

Izaya was waiting for me at the front of the gate. We were going to meet up for ice cream. As soon as he spotted me he came at me at full-speed.

"Dota-chin! Dota-chin!" Izaya jumped around me.

I tousle his hair and chuckle, "You're so cute."

"I-I am not!" Izaya whines as his face goes red.

"Uh, just one thing," I awkwardly bring up, "Do you like Shizuo?"

Izaya pretends to gag, "If I had to like Shizuo because my life was on stake then I sure as hell would sacrifice my own life than like him."

"I thought I saw you with him at the courtyard." I brought up, I felt the need to brag because now I know that Izaya only _likes_ me. I was a fool for doubting Izaya.

"We got in trouble in swimming class," He explains, "Only a bit more and I could've drowned him on the spot."

"Then should we go?" We started to walk to an ice cream shop near the train station.

I stare at him as he happily skipped on the sidewalk.

 _Ahh Izaya, if you were to ever slip away from my grasp then I wouldn't know what I would do. I love you. Almost to the point that I would lock you up just to prevent you from seeing other people. Especially Shizuo, not that he's a threat anymore._

 ** _(Izaya's POV)_**

 _What the fuck? Liking Shizu-chan is simply 'stupid.'_ Heck I would be impressed if someone were to actually like a madman like him. I might as well give them a trophy for that.

"That's insane," I mumbled under my breathe.

"Did you say something?" Dota-chin pinches my cheek.

"Nothing," I blandly say, I pinch Dota-chin's cheek as payback.

 ** _(Shizuo's POV)_**

I was just about to walk to my house when I see Izaya and Kadota walking in an ice cream shop. My feet felt like they were possessed and I follow them inside. I sat on the opposite booth they were on and I shoved a menu real close to my face as disguise. I leaned in to make sure I could hear their conversation.

"So what do you want?" Kadota asks Izaya.

"Strawberries, anything with strawberries will win me over." The flea answers.

 _Should I buy him some fresh strawberries- Wait what?! Why would I?!_ I shake that thought away and listen harder.

"Ok I'll order it, anything else?" Kadota closes him menu and stands up.

"No, here's my half," Izaya gives him some cash.

"No," Kadota pinches his cheek and smiles, "I'm paying."

The flea blushes and surrenders quietly. I felt like wiping that expression off his face. But the only thing I can do to restrain myself is to clench my fist. Kadota walks to the cashier and Izaya invisibly draws with his finger on the table.

"Hmm, Shizu...chan," He whispers.

 _Was I found out?!_

"I like Shizu-chan..." Izaya continues on.

My heart skips a beat.

Izaya laughs, a bit uncertain and says, "No way, impossible, never in a million years!" He shakes his head.

 _What was I to expect?_ I stood up and left.

 ** _(Izaya's POV)_**

A person from the other side of my table stood up, but I didn't bother to glance at them.

 _Shizu-chan huh? Even if I'm with Dota-chin my mind keeps on coming back to Shizu-chan. Tch! It's all because he did something weird in the shower room! I'll forget about it in a day or two._

I see Kadota coming back with our orders and I flash all smiles at him.

"Welcome back!" I wave.

He pats my head and gives me strawberry flavoured ice-cream. I start eating it up.

"Hey," He leans closer.

"Y-Yeah?" I blush as we were inches away.

"Wanna go on a date tomorrow?" Kadota wipes the corner of my mouth with a handkerchief.

"A date?" My eyes shine.

"Yeah. Their's a carnival temporarily opening up this weekend and I thought it'd be nice to go with you." Kadota takes a bite of my ice cream.

I laugh as he licks his lips, "Sure, what time?"

"I'll pick you up around 10 o'clock in the morning."

"Ok!" I chirped.

I'm inside my apartment and set an alarm clock for 7 A.M. I can't wait for tomorrow. _Should I actually dress up for the occasion? W-What am I thinking?! I'm going over-board!_

I hop on my bed and my mind starts to drift away.

 ** _(Shizuo's POV)_**

I went to Izaya's place before I could change my mind. Luckily, I "followed" him back to his apartment. It looks like he didn't lie to me, his place is far off from the station.

I'm at his door and I hesitate to knock on it. I slap myself across the cheek to snap out of it. _Here goes nothing._

 ** _(Izaya's POV)_**

I get a knock on my door at 6 in the morning. Well, no need for an alarm clock now. I didn't get any sleep anyways, I yawn.

 _I hope its Dota-chin, but isn't it a bit too early?_ I made my way to the entrance to answer the door. I quickly glance at the mirror and noticed my crazy bed-head. _Geh! Dota-chin's probably gonna get mad, but I bet that he'll comb my hair through his fingers._ I smile to myself.

I open my door and realized that it wasn't Dota-chin. A wave of disappointment fled through me, but strangely enough, a jump of joy squirmed inside me. It was Shizu-chan. I start to close my door but he stops the door with his bare hands.

"What?!" I look at him suspiciously.

"I-" Shizu-chan pauses and looks at my hair, "You're bed-head is bothering me." He starts to tousle my hair around.

"Just get to the point," I crossed my arms, completely overlooking the fact that this idiot bothered to fix my hair.

Shizu-chan bends down until we met at eye-level. "I... like you," Shizu-chan stares into my eyes, "I guess..."

"HAAAH?!" I look at him, my eyes wide.

"I don't need an answer right now, just consider my feelings," He turns around and waves at me, "See you."

I was left there, stunned, speechless, and embarrassed.

 _What is he trying to get at by dating me? I know that what he did a yesterday was a bit too much, but does he genuinely have feelings for me?_

 _And if he does, then why not playing around with his feeling..._ A smirk forms onto my face.

 _Wait, what about Dota-chin? Arrghh! This is so frustrating!_

 ** _(Shizuo's POV)_**

My heart is literally jumping out of its chest right now. It was about damn time I realized my feelings for Izaya. _If only I noticed sooner..._


	4. Secret

**_(Kadota's POV)_**

I knock on Izaya's door, I hope I made it in time. Izaya opens it, an unusual quietness flooded through the room. That's strange, usually he'd be jumping in joy whenever he sees me.

"Izaya?" I crouch down until we were meeting at eye level.

He finally realizes what's happening and chirps up, "Oh ho! Dota-chin welcome! I just need to put on my shoes and let's gooo!"

"Did something happen?" I ask.

If we were to give prizes to people who had the worst pokerface then Izaya would definitely win first place right now.

"N-No!" He shakes his head and bends down to slip on his shoes.

He was dazed, staring into space- no- staring right through space. Something happened to my precious Izaya. I have a feeling that it has something to do with Shizuo.

 ** _(Izaya's POV)_**

 _He wasn't buying it. Of course he wasn't buying it! Are you a fucking idiot?! Tch, what else can I do right now?_

"Shall we go?" I stood up and locked my door.

Dota-chin nods.

I start to walk but Dota-chin hugs me from behind. My face goes red.

"U-Um... Dota-chin w-what are you doing?" My voice was barely audible.

"Tell me if anything happens to you."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"You're not acting like yourself, something's up, isn't it?"

 _Shit! I need to pull out all my acting skills to pass off my next sentence._

"A-Actually... I've been too excited, even now I'm still excited. I thought that it would be humiliating to show you how much my heart is jumping right now. That's why I tried to keep my face neutral. I haven't slept an inch for today so I must've looked out of it when I opened the door." I laugh apologetically.

"What?! If you're tired then let's turn back." Dota-chin starts to panic.

My acting was 110% flawless, this was the type of reaction I was expecting.

"What about the tickets? What if the carnival closes next week?" I say with concern in my voice.

"It's ok. As long as your health is ok." He combs through my hair.

I blush again.

"I'm fine, I can sleep along the way." I avoid eye contact.

"But-"

"No! Let's go." I smile and drag him along, although I was doing a horrible job at dragging him.

Dota-chin goes quiet, he hesitantly sighs but agrees to continue to go to the carnival.

 ** _(Shizuo's POV)_**

 _What the hell am I doing?! Ever since Izaya and Kadota got onto the bus I've been following them since this morning! This is like a replay of yesterday! Shit! I'm not a stalker, right? I don't think I posses the traits of a stalker so I'm okay for now._

 _I'm getting off the next bus stop!_ I stand up but quickly dismiss that idea. Although... I'm quite curious to see what they're going to do.

I'm _casually_ buying a hot dog at a food vendor that was conveniently nearby Izaya and Kadota. It was perfect for overhearing their conversation.

"Oh! It's good!" Izaya's eyes twinkle as Kadota gave him some of his food.

Kadota chuckles and wipes off the chocolate on the corner of Izaya's mouth.

"Geez! You don't have to do that!" Izaya pouts.

 _Shit, he's fucking cute!... FUCK!_

 _Why am I still here?!_

I've followed them from rides to food stops to even the restroom! _Why am I so on the edge?!_

It's almost sunset and I don't recall them ever getting too close like kissing or hugging, which relieved me. It's like Kadota is playing too safe today. Something was definitely holding him back.

"I need to go stop at the restroom before we go home." Kadota points behind him.

"Alright, I'm gonna go to the bench and rest." Izaya starts walking towards the benches. He sits down and stretches.

I can't stand it. I need to talk to him or else it'll be too late. I put my hands in my pockets and start walking to Izaya nonchalantly.

 ** _(Kadota's POV)_**

I walk out of the restroom but I quickly stop my tracks. The guy behind me curses at me for suddenly stopping and goes away. All the blood from my face started to drain away. Shizuo. He was here and he's going to talk to my Izaya.

He's the reason Izaya seemed different today. _Just what did he do?_ I need to exterminate him soon. He's mixing Izaya's feeling around. He can't be trusted, he's fooling Izaya. I need him dead. But getting blood on my hands isn't my type of thing. I need someone who has no problem doing the dirty work for me.

For now, I'll just watch Shizuo and Izaya from afar and make sure nothing happens.

 ** _(Shizuo's POV)_**

"Look who it is," I say.

"Geh! Shizu-chan! Just as I was having the best day ever." Izaya growls and starts looking around, as if he were ashamed to be talking to me.

I sit beside him, he doesn't seem to be backing off.

"There's a bunch of benches all around us, would it kill you to sit on one other than this bench?" He sighs with annoyance.

"Not thanks, I like it better here." I smirk.

"Why?" Izaya crosses his arms.

"Because I'm with you, wasn't that obvious enough?" I lightly jab his cheek.

I half expected Izaya to ignore what I said or shout at me. Surprisingly he just sat there, as still as a statue.

"Izaya?" I ask.

As I got a closer look on him, his face was flushed in red.

"Hey, did you actually fall for me?" I teased him.

"S-Stupid! Idiot!" He turns his head away, "Who would fall for someone like you?!"

I stood up and sighed. It was worth a try. _Maybe try and consider my feelings for once_. I'm not quite there yet, but I'll make him fall in love with me.

I mumble something under my breath and start to walk away.

Izaya, whose face was still red, grabbed onto my shirt, "W-Wait! What did you just say?!"

I paused for a while and placed my index finger on my mouth, "It's a secret."

 **[A/N:** SORRy! I FUCKING DIED the last 2 months;-; school just piled up hopefully I can publish another chapter before Sunday! **]**


	5. Play

**_(Izaya's POV)_**

I watch his back merge in with the crowd. His words left me speechless. _No- It can't be! I'm pretty sure I heard it wrong. There's no way he'd say something like that to me._ But I could still hear his words echoing in my head.

 _"Stupid! Idiot! Who would fall for someone like you?!"_

 _"Then hurry up and fall for me dammit..."_

 _He wouldn't say that!_

I was in a daze again. I finally realized that Dota-chin was right in front of me. _Shit!_ I wasn't paying attention again!

"D-Dota-chin!" The words slipped out of my mouth.

"Are you sick?" He lays the back of his hand on my head.

"I guess I was tired after all..." I laugh nervously.

"We should go," His hand drops from my head.

I was in my room, pondering about what I should do with Shizu-chan. After I debated with myself, I had a clear plan laid out in front of me.

I'll accept his confession. But purely for my own intentions! Such as playing around with his feelings. Nothing else! And once he's over the top for me, I'll crush his petty feelings. He'll be so emotionally scarred that he'll drop his guard and I can somewhat slash him with my knife or something. It was bound to happen that way. We were destined to be _enemies_ and only enemies.

I just have one rule to follow.

 _Don't fall in love with him._

 ** _(Shizuo's POV)_**

I dropped onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. I sighed.

I hated these unwanted feelings. That feeling when my blood boils whenever Kadota is with Izaya. Jealousy is what they call it.

But when I touch Izaya, my fingertips feel like there's lightning inside my veins. My stomach flips and I resist the urge to hold him even tighter, to the point where he's suffocating. I'd always find myself letting my guard down when I talk to him. I feel at ease when I with him.

I hate these feeling I have for Izaya, but at the same time I love it. I can't get enough of my feelings for him. I love his intense stare as he observes something suspicious. And the way his mouth curls up in amusement when he finds something he likes.

Yet I loathed it, I want to wrap my fingers around his slender neck and watch as his skin goes pale. I wanted to see his expression plead for mercy. I wanted to see his mouth gape as he tries to grasp for air. The panic in his eyes. The croaking noises he would make as he tries to talk some sense into me in his final moments. I wanted to see it all.

I sometimes forget what these feeling are called, but it always comes back to me when I stop thinking too much about it.

It was _love_.

It feels like it was years ago when I've discovered these feelings.

I covered my mouth to stop myself from grinning.

 ** _(Izaya's POV)_**

My hand was shaking as I placed my hand on the door. The weekend went by so quickly and it was school again. Once I slide this door, Shizu-chan will be there. Not socializing with one another, just _watching_. I slid the door open and my fear was masked with my cool demeanor. I could feel Shizu-chan's burning gaze on me. I took a deep breath and looked at him, he was intrigued, I motioned him to come with me and he stands up. My classmates begin to notice Shizu-chan walking towards me. Probably thinking something like _"it's their final showdown."_

Except it wasn't.

We were just meeting so I could accept his confession.

I shouldn't let my emotions waver...

... but it was FUCKING embarrassing!

We leave the classroom, my face was still emotionless and I headed towards the roof, expecting that he would follow along.

"L-Like I said... I'm accepting! Don't make me say it a third time!" I crossed my arms.

Shizu-chan was definitely playing around now. He heard me loud and clear but he just smirked and said he couldn't hear me. _What a bastard!_

"So you did fall for me." He scratches his chin.

"I just wanted a change of pace," I denied.

"Then I'll make you fall for me." He steps forward.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" I flailed my arms around. I had to do something important before I start playing around.

Shizu-chan stops walking towards me.

My expression turns grim, "Give me time to break up with Dota-chin."

He nods.

 ** _(Kadota's POV)_**

It was lunch time. Izaya should be making his way to the roof. The place where we always eat. I hear the door open and Izaya comes into the open.

"Hey!" I smiled.

Something wasn't right, the tension was heavy.

Without any greeting, Izaya came up to me, "We need to talk."

I had always feared for this day, I just never knew it'd come so quickly. I already knew what he would say.

"Was it Shizuo who's changing your feeling?" I said, surprised that my voice wasn't shaking.

Izaya blushed. I was spot on.

 ** _(Izaya's POV)_**

I couldn't say anything. It was sickening. I couldn't look at him.

Dota-chin grew impatient and sighed. He tilted my head so that we were looking eye to eye.

"Sure, go ahead and date Shizuo," Dota-chin said in a low tone, "But remember this, you belong to me. I'll come back and steal you from him, you can't hide from me. Play all you like, but know this, I'll be lurking in the shadows. Watching your every move."

This isn't him, it's the monster that was hidden deep within him.

School ended. The clouds were grey, as if the atmosphere of the school wasn't dark enough. My mind keeps on heading back to the rooftop, it was the same place that I started my relationship with Shizu-chan but ended my relationship with Dota-chin.

I slip on my outdoor shoes and before I could go outside, rain begins to fall. It wasn't your simple pitter patter type of rain. It was a fucking thunderstorm.

"Can't go outside?" A voice from behind emerges.

It was Shizu-chan.

"Fan-fucking-tastic... it's you." I look away.

"Can't you act like my lover?" He tousles my hair.

"No, I cannot." I said in a flat tone.

"Here." He held out an umbrella.

I stared at the umbrella, then at Shizu-chan, then back at the umbrella.

"Fucking hell, get a clue! I'm trying to give this to you so we can walk together." Shizu-chan rakes through his hair, he was obviously uncomfortable in this situation.

I grinned, "Yeah, we should walk together." I unfold the umbrella.

Shizu-chan starts to brighten up.

"But I think we'll be running instead of walking." I stepped forward into the rain.

"What? Why?"

"Because... of... this!" I started to dash away.

"H-Hey!" Shizu-chan yells at me.

I snickered, "Catch me if you can!"

 ** _(Kadota's POV)_**

And there they go. I watched them fade away from the distance. _Play all you want Izaya. Play all you want._


	6. Request

**_(Izaya's POV)_**

From across the table, I studied him carefully. Shizu-chan and I are in the library "studying." The mid-term exams are coming up and Shizu-chan practically begged me to help him study.

I stifled a giggle when I remember him begging me, his desperate side was kind of cute. Makes me- it makes me wanna... S-STEP ON HIS HEAD! _Y-Yea, stepping and stuff..._

 _Seriously! What the fuck am I thinking?_ Sure I've blushed a thousand times because of him, but I'm not in love with him. The new change just took a huge toll on me. Soon I'll be back to normal and I'll start thinking straight. For now, I'll just go by his pace.

"So, do you get my explanation?" I asked to Shizu-chan who still had a dumbfounded look on his face.

"U-Um, what does linear mean again?" He stutters.

I sigh, "So you're failing the basics of math eh?"

Shizu-chan nods.

"I'm gonna find some reference books," I stood up quietly.

"Hey wait-"

I quickly left before he could complain any longer.

 _Hmm, where is section E? E, E, E... Ah! Found it!_ I take the right book out of the shelf and turn around.

Shizu-chan was right in front of me, "S-Shizu-"

He hugs me lightly.

"W-What are you doing?" I try to push him away.

"Sitting in one position for too long is tiring, I'll be recharged if I have some skinship with you."

I click my tongue to show my disapproval, but he doesn't budge.

 ** _(Shizuo's POV)_**

I'm touching Izaya, better yet, I'm hugging him. My heart feels like it's gonna explode. Man, I can't go by his pace, I wanna kiss him. But he'll be mad at me. So for today, just an extra long hug.

I let go of Izaya. _How's that? You better fall in love with me now!_

Izaya's face was red, talk about cute.

"Idiot! We should be studying." Izaya slips away and walks back to our table.

 ** _(Izaya's POV)_**

 _Fuck! Fuuuck! What is he doing?! A little more and my shitty good-for-nothing heart might've been taken away!_

"That should do for today," I stretched my arms out, "We'll continue tomorrow if you need to."

"I need to," Shizu-chan said almost instantly.

"I knew you'd say that..." I had no more energy left, trying to teach this idiot is like trying to teach a brick wall.

Just before I was about to leave, Shizu-chan grabbed my arm.

"Izaya, um, hear me out..."

"Oh?" I tilt my head.

"I know my scores aren't always the best..."

 _Always?_

"But if I get in the top 50s then you'll have no choice but to accept my request!"

"Request? What request?" I ask.

"That... I can't tell you just yet." Shizu-chan averts my gaze.

"Fine, but I'm not gonna study with you," I smirked.

"Wait what?" He starts to rethink about his request.

I'm tired and I wanna sleep. But it's not like he'll actually get into the top 50s. He'll need an actual miracle for that to happen.

 _F-Fuck!_ I look up at the scores posted on the board. Only the scores of the top 50 students scoring the highest was on it. And on #48 read Shizu-chan's name.

"Ahem, it looks like I made it," Shizu-chan appears behind me

"You cheated! Right?" I crossed my arms.

"I wouldn't go that low," Shizu-chan pretends to look hurt.

"Then what did you do? Wish on a fucking meteoroid for a miracle to happen?!"

"I asked Shinra, his words, to be exact was _I longed for the day when Izaya falls into devastation!_ "

"That fucking bastard, I'll kill him!" I vowed.

"So, now that you've seen my brain power, what score did you get?" He was certainly getting cocky.

"I'm tied with Shinra," I look at the scores. It's been a long time since I checked my score. It's something I really don't care about.

"Which is?"

I held my pointer finger up.

"F-First?!" Shizu-chan looks astonished.

"Duh, what else would it be?"

Shizu-chan suddenly pulls me into a light headlock and nudges my head, "Whaaa, Izaya you're smart? I doubted you for a second!"

 _This frickin' airhead!_ "I'm smarter than you'll ever be. Now release me before people around us get the wrong idea! I don't wanna seem close with you..." I try to pull away.

"Ouch, that hurts."

"I've lived my whole life as a bystander, if you dare damage my reputation I'll cut all ties with you!" I growled.

"Wow, we got a feisty one," Shizu-chan backs off.

"So what's your grand request?" I do jazz hands.

"I'll tell you at lunch. I feel like it's a request that you'll get mad at if you were to do it here right now." Shizu-chan explained.

 _Shit! It's a physical request. Something like hugging or maybe k-ki-kiss..._

"Ahhh mo~ Ok then!" I pouted.

 ** _(Shizuo's POV)_**

 _I wonder if Izaya's ok with the request. It's not that difficult, just some simple physical contact. That's why doing it somewhere more private is better._

 _Eugh! What if I hurt him? My grip is pretty strong so I might not be able to control myself. And then he'll scream my name like "Ow, ow! Shizu-chan stop! It huuurts!" Or something along those lines. Then people will hear and then they'll see what's happening and Izaya's so-called reputation will be damaged._

 _Shit! Shit! Should I still go with my original plan?! But this is the only time I could hold Izaya without him slipping away. Thinking about what I'm going to do to him makes my heart race. I guess I'll go with my original plan._

 _Sorry Izaya, but if it hurts then I'll take full responsibility..._

 _Ah, it's lunch time._ I was so engrossed with my thoughts of Izaya that class ended so fast.

I stood up and motioned Izaya to follow me. I go out of the classroom and on the way to the rooftop. Izaya, who was not too far behind, was trailing after me.

The door to the roof closes and I turn around to see Izaya.

"What's the request?" Izaya tilts his head.

So I told him my request.

Izaya's face was not pleased.


	7. Guilt

**_(Izaya's POV)_**

 _H-Holding hands?! Isn't that too intimate? My heart isn't ready._  
"O-Ok..." I managed to spurt out.

Shizu-chan looks delighted.

"Don't look at me like that!" I push his face away but all he does is chuckle.

He suddenly grabs my hand. We stand in awkward silence until he readjusts his grip so that our fingers intertwined.

"H-How much longer?" I ask. _Oh my... FUCK! What if my hand's sweaty? I feel like I'm sweating, am I?_

This gives me too much anxiety.

"Just a few seconds," he gives me a lopsided grin which turns my stomach round and round.

He suddenly lets go of my hand.

"Oh!" I say, surprised at the sudden turn of events.

"Ehhh, did you want me to hold hands with you a bit longer?" Shizu-chan teases.

"No way in hell would I want that!" I shout viciously.

"Well then, let's get back to class," he starts walking back.

To be honest, hearing that he wanted to hold hands left me a bit disappointed. Like I wanted something more out of it. _I wouldn't mind if it was a k-k-ki-KEY TO SOLVING A MYSTERY! Y-Yeah..._  
I sigh.

And we held hands for a short time. I'm kind of dissatisfied with this. _Haaah, no use thinking about it now._

 ** _(Shizuo's POV)_**

 _Should I have asked for a hug? I don't think I'll be able to accomplish that in another 500 years. The way he reacted to holding hands won't even let me get close to hugging him._

I look back at Izaya, who started going down the stairs.

I wonder what he's thinking... I could never really make out what goes around in his mind.

 ** _(Izaya's POV)_**

 _How about I accidentally trip over nothing and land on Shizu-chan, but the twist is that our lips are locked together... No no no no no! What am I thinking?!_

 _How could I possibly trip over nothing? This idea is totally illogical! He'll think that it's staged. I would die of embarrassment it he came to that conclusion._

The bell rings.

I'll have to postpone that idea next time.

School ends and I see Shizu-chan waiting in front of the gate. He's been doing that ever since we started "dating," and he hasn't broken that loyalty ever since.

I feel an emotion that should've been locked away since I was a young child. _Guilt_. It's like I feel guilty for using Shizu-chan. although I haven't executed a plan, more or less made a plan. Maybe I'm pre-guilty for what will happen in the future. Tch... When have I felt this human before?

 _Disgusting._

Shizu-chan notices my presence and waves at me. I get closer to him and he starts ruffling my hair.

"Hey! Watch it!" I grumble.

"Are you angry every moment of the day?" He chuckles.

I shake my head, "Only when you're around."

"Ehhh, am I an exception?" Shizu-chan has that smugass look again.

"Of course you are." I deadpanned.

He gives me a defeated smile, "Don't worry, you're cute like that."

"Wha-! That was uncalled for!" I point at him.

 ** _(Kadota's POV)_**

 _Which is more comfortable... rope or chains?_ I watch Izaya and Shizuo leave the school from the rooftop. Izaya... I miss his voice. I want to have a nice, long chat with him. Just one on one. Preferably in a faraway place. Away from people and especially away from _him_ , Shizuo.

I stop leaning on the railing and go back downstairs.

 ** _(Shizuo's POV)_**

 _Yessss! My big break! I'm going to find out where Izaya lives!_ We're near the train station and Izaya looks at me.

"You can see me off here." He says.

"You go on the train?" I ask.

"Yeah." Izaya answers briefly.

 _Did you hear that? That was my heart shattering..._

"I'll go with you," I insist.

"Nah, it's ok." Izaya apologetically shakes his head. "Besides, you live around this area, no point coming with me."

"You remembered that I live here?" I ask with surprise.

"Y-Yeah? Was I not supposed to?" Izaya starts to look confused.

 _Izaya has amazing memory... +10 love points!_

"Nevermind that, see you," I wave.  
He looks at the ground and starts walking to the train station's gate. Izaya stops for a second and looks back at me.

 ** _(Izaya's POV)_**

I look at my hand and hesitate, I glance back at Shizu-chan and wave back at him.

"Bye..." I mumble and quickly start to walk away.

He smiles and waves again.

I'm inside the train and I begin to remember Shizu-chan's smiling face. My heart starts beating faster, I feel my face, it's warm. I look out the window and squeeze my hand. My head is spinning around. _Why am I feeling such emotions?_ I give an annoyed sigh and sharply turn my head away from the window.

 _I don't like this..._

 **[A/N:** I apologize for being inactive the past few months, hopefully I get back into writing new chapters daily! **]**


	8. Apartment

**_(Izaya's POV)_**

 _Haaaaah... It's morning, how long have I been up? Where am I again? My head is spinning. I feel like shit._ I try to get up but quickly fall back down.

My breathing goes unsteady, I don't have much energy left. I reach for my phone and call Shizu-chan to notify him.

"Hello?" He immediately picks up.

 _That idiot._

"I-" I try to calm down my breathing.

"Hmm? Izaya what's wrong?" He sounds a bit concerned.

I try to take a deep breath but end up taking a shallow one, "I don't think I... can make... it..."

 ** _(Shizuo's POV)_**

"Izaya? Izaya?!" I shout on the phone.

I start to run out of the school.

He wasn't replying back. _"I don't think I can make it..." What the hell?_

 _What is this the place? Why does he live in such a luxurious apartment?!_

It seems like every resident needs a code to get into the building... A person was about to go in, but thankfully he thought I was a resident here so he held the door for me. I nod at him and the entrance closed automatically.

I quickly went to the elevator and pressed the button for the 5th floor. Once the elevator gets to its destination I rush out without the door opening all the way. _Number 8, number 8... Ah over there!_

I barge on the door. "Izaya! Can you here me?"

There was a ring and the door opened.

"Oh, Shizu-chan what are you doing here?" He says in a raspy voice and sniffed his nose.

Izaya looks a bit under the weather but all in all, he's ok.

"What? You're sick? B-But you said you might not make it-" I stammered.

"I said I might not make it to school, but I blacked out before I could finish my sentence," He laughs it off, "Wanna sit down for a while?"

I was dumbfounded.

 _ **(Izaya's POV)**_

"By the way, how'd you get my address?" I ask as I pour him some tea.

"Simple, I just threatened the class prez," Shizu-chan nods.

 _Ha, typical._

I chuckle.

"What is it?" He asks.

"You were pretty worried about me, that's cute," I teased him.

He turns a bit red, "Y-You don't look _that_ sick."

"Ah, I just needed some sleep, but I caught a cold because I slept on the floor shirtless." I nonchalantly shrug.

Shizu-chan looks like he would punch me right now it I weren't sick.

"...Moving that aside," He brushes my cheek, "Are you feeling fine."

It was my turn to blush, "Y-Yea..."

"Just to be safe, let's take you to bed," He pats my head.

I froze, I totally took that the wrong way. _Haha...ha..._

I show him to my room, it's quite empty to be honest. A bed in the middle, a side table, and a floor lamp to the far right corner.

"Isn't it a bit lonely sleeping here?" He looks around.

"Eeehhh, you wanna sleep with me?" I scoff.

"Sure why not," He pulls me on the bed.

"W-What're you doing?" I try to scramble out of the bed but Shizu-chan's grip is too strong.

"Since I'm officially skipping school I might as well kill time by sleeping." He hugs me.

"Didn't I tell you? I'm sick! Don't get too close to me!" I whine.

"I don't mind..." He hugs me tighter.

"What did you say?" I must've heard that wrong.

Our noses were barely touching, "I don't mind." He smiles.

 _But I do!_ Yet I can't seem to say those words aloud.

 _ **(Shizuo's POV)**_

Izaya smells nice. I could die happy.

I look down at the Izaya who has now fallen asleep. To control myself, I flip to the other side. _Izaya how can you be so defenceless?!_ But it'd be nice if we could do this from time to time...

 ** _(Kadota's POV)_**

Shizuo and Izaya aren't here for attendance... _Where are they?!_ My right leg starts shaking up and down uncontrollably.

 _Izaya. Izaya. Izaya. Izaya. Izaya. Izaya. Izaya. Izaya. Izaya. Where did you go?_

School has ended, but there's no sign of them. They were definitely together today. It's probably Shizuo who took the initiative to go to Izaya's house. _House..._ I've never been in Izaya's house. We only go to my house. I can't help but form a grin on my face. _Izaya's house, huh?_

After I regained my façade I went over to the teacher.

"Sensei, Izaya and Shizuo are away today right?" I ask with concern.

"Oh, yes they are."

"If you don't mind, I'm able to bring them the handouts we did today at class." I held out my hand.

"As expected of Kyohei-san, well if you don't mind..." The teacher gives me a couple of handouts for each person.

 _So gullible._

"Well then, see you tomorrow!" I bow.

The teacher laughs in delight, "I guess you know where both of their addresses are right?"

I nod and went out the door.

Of course, Izaya has never had the chance to tell me his address in the time span of when we were dating. But that's ok, I walked Izaya home without him knowing I was there!

The only problem is how to get in, since the place has an automated door that locks the outside. I guess I'll just text Izaya, it'd be cute to see his reaction. After all, Shizuo's with him.

I'm at the apartment. I take out my phone and start to inform Izaya.

[Kadota: I have handouts to give you, I'm at your building's door.]

The little speech bubble pops up for a few seconds, finally, Izaya replies.

[Izaya: ...Now?]


End file.
